April 2010
26 posts
Recap - James' 'Fucking Cheer Up' Weekend:
When I choose to go up to Rochester, New York, I typically have a specific reason.
RIT has become my dedicate respite spot of choice when things go particularly foul back home in Wyoming Valley.
Let’s face it, I’ve been trying my hardest to be happy and get over what was done to me. It’s extremely difficult to do something like this alone. Just being around here, near spots...
Checklist:
Working Car: √
Styling Clothes: √
Excitement Level: √
Rainy Days (I.E. Excuse To Drink/Shop): √
200 Extra Dollars: √
Friends That Want To Actually See Me: √
Copious Amounts Of Alcohol: √
Amazing Serendipitous House Party Location: √
Chance of having an amazing “Cheer The Fuck Up” weekend?
Over 9000%!!!!!!!
I swear, I'm trying my hardest.
…but what does it seem like everyone else’s heart is elastic?
I mean, I’ve seen at least five people I know go through breakups since I had mine.
They literally bounce back instantly and I hear about them talking to someone new already.
Seriously?
Are you kidding me?
How do they do that?
I only go for full-service.
Jason: Lemme massage you, Jimmy!
He proceeds to start rubbing my shoulders.
Me: Matthew, tell your friend that he really needs to step off.
Matt: I can't help it. He's really touchy-feely.
Jason: Yay! Fun!
Me: Well, unless he buys me dinner and offers me the complimentary 'reach-around', he needs to back off.
Later on.
Jason: One of my friends texted me and said that you should have raped me when I rubbed your shoulders.
Me: Why the hell would anyone say that?
Jason: I dunno. He doesn't even know that you're gay either.
Me: You do know just because I'm gay doesn't mean I automatically want to rape any guy that touches me, right?
“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love....”
– Someone Pretty Fucking Smart
One of these images needs to appear on my wrist soon.
Preferably without any pain or money spent.
Yes, I’m talking about the immaculate tattoo here.
This is why exactly why I need to exercise more:
Let me set the scene. I'm running downstairs on the treadmill, and I hear Kylie calling my name and saying that she has to go potty. I go upstairs and take her out of bed and let her go to the bathroom. As she is sitting on the toilet, this conversation occurs.
Kylie: Jimmy, why are you naked?
Me: I'm not naked. I was running. See? I have shorts on.
Kylie: Oh. Okay. Umm...
Me: What?
Kylie: Cloe is my mommy's belly, right?
Me: Yes, she certainly is.
*She gestures to my stomach*
Kylie: Then who do you have in your tummy?
Me: I don't have anyone in there.
Kylie: But look! It's moving!
Me: That's called breathing, Kylie... It's not a baby.
Dear Tumblr:
I’ve decided that I need to start taking the initiative in my life, whether that be with my friends, family, future boyfriends.
Oh, and with my body too. I’m tired of feeling like a sad sack of fat.
So I will begin working out eating - relatively - better and drinking les…
…Well, probably drinking more.
But everyone needs a vice, right. Mine might as well be fun as well...
:-:-:!!TARGET ACQUIRED!!:-:-:
I can only assume that watching that movie, “Hot Tub Time Machine”, has transported me back to about eight months ago.
All these feelings are rushing back to me.
I forgot how much I liked him to begin with.
If my plan works, I guarantee he will become mine.
(Enter name here), I choose you!
Are you sure it wasn't on the Wii?
Charlie: Sorry I didn't answer you. I was busy winning a tennis match.
Me: Like.... real tennis? Not Mario Tennis or Wii Tennis?
Charlie: Real tennis.
Me: Like with the white short shorts and the knee socks with the stripes on them?! The sweater draped on your shoulders, tied in the front around you? Sipping on a mai tai at the country club as you talk to all the other well-to-do about your stock portfolios?!
Charlie: Not so much. More like board shorts at a tennis court in the park, playing with a girl in a bikini.
Me: Thanks for shattering my illusion. You looked adorable in the outfit my imagination chose for you.
Charlie: Not as adorable as you!
Me: I couldn't pull off that look. 170 pounds of mess into a 150 pound, well-toned body named Chad or Blake.
Rhetorical:
What do you do when someone you’ve liked, pretty much since the moment you were introduced to them, starts giving off those signals that they’re interested in you now?
I’m not using names in this one, but suffice it to say, someone I like, from what I can tell, seems to be reciprocating feelings back to me.
It’s actually pretty funny because I ran away to Harrisburg to...
Dear Christina:
I agree.
I was reading the list of who made Amy cry during high school the other night.
It made me miss you quite terribly.
Let’s be friends again post-haste.
I need all the love I can get anymore.
New nickname.
Me: The mountain is on fire!
Charlie: Are you referring to your private parts as a mountain, James?
Me: No, but that is a fantastic nickname.
Charlie: Hahaha. Burning Mountain?
Me: Yah. It's better than being called fire crotch.
Charlie: So, I'm assuming the carpets match the drapes?
Me: It's how I prove my hair isn't dyed.
Charlie: You exotic bird, you.
The end.
Brandon: This is gone downhill, hasn't it?
Me: What has?
Brandon: Us... It doesn't feel the same.
Me: I know. What do we do?
Brandon: I don't know. I'm about to have my 2nd interview.
Me: I know, and I'm sure you'll do great. Nothing has changed in the way I feel about you. I still love you. You just seem so distant anymore.
Brandon: You too...
Me: I feel like I just annoy you anymore. Like, I try to be cute and funny, but you don't react the same way as you use to.
Me: Like... maybe you don't really need me now that you're back home...
Brandon: Ugggggggh.
Me: So, what are we going to do from here?
Brandon: No clue.
Me: Do you think you'd actually want to come back here?
Brandon: I doubt coming back there is an option. My life is so much happier out here.
Me: Yah... I was afraid as much.
Brandon: Why?
Me: I mean, I want you to be happy... but where does that leave me in your life?
Brandon: I don't know.
Me: This isn't going to work if you don't know, Brandon...
And then... the all-telling and answering silence.
So, yah. That happened.
It’s astounding how quickly these things crash down all around me.
I’m not even kidding anymore.
I’m completely done with it all.
I’m going into full-on emotionless robot form.
