I keep going up into my brother’s face and shouting:
“Ju-DAS, Juda-ha-ha! Ju-DAS, Juda-ha-ha! Ju-Das, Juda-ha-ha! Judas-Gaga!”
I don’t think he’s appreciating it as much as I want him to.
Therefore, I will continue until he either accepts it lovingly or murders me.
Why is it so difficult for me to stay in a consistent good mood?
Honest to God, something is out to get me…
I should be asleep.
Why can’t I sleep anymore.
Instead, here I am, laying in bed.
Lamenting the fact that I will more than likely be alone for the rest of my existence.
I shouldn’t be feeling like this.
I get tons of love and affection everyday from my friends and family.
Why isn’t this enough? Why do I feel like I need more than that?
Do I actually even deserve it?
I mean, I’ve survived this long without a boyfriend beside me, so why is it now that I am truly feeling the futility of trying anymore?
I see happy couples everyday. EVERY SINGLE DAY.
And I really do try to suppress my misanthropy and wish them well.
But it always sends me reeling down that ever-faithful self-destructive spiral.
And when I self-destruct, I tend to take others with me.
I grow weary of this nonsense.
When will it be my fucking turn?
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO BE GOOD ENOUGH?!
I don’t pretend to be normal.
Gah, perish the thought!
Why bother being formal?
Who needs to be fraught?
I like me. And in the end, that’s really all you can hope for.
Life’s too short to based everything that is you on what others perceive.
If I grow up.
I woke up from my nap today in a tizzy.
All because of the dream I was experiencing prior.
And what upset me in dream/real world,
Was that my next-door neighbor, Katelyn was asking on Facebook,
Using that new “Ask a question” system,
To ask how many people I had slept with and their names.
But that wasn’t even what was upsetting to me.
It was the fact that there were more WOMEN on the list then MEN.
Bitches be straight up lying! But I appreciate the man-boost.
First of all: The fuck do you think you are?
You weren’t the one that brought me into the group. So how dare you start fights with everyone claiming that “Jimmy is replacing me” and that “You all changed.”
Actually, you know what? I take that back. I AM fucking replacing you. And do you know why that is? Because you are nothing more than a whiny, self-absorbed, little pouf and everyone has grown sick of you and your pity party wagon.
Hell if I know why they put up with you at all in the first place. The only real thing you had in common with them was the fact that you all worked at Redner’s together and your affinity for the drink. Beyond that, you were just a husk (Nerd Joke) taking up a stool at the bar.
So, to put it succinctly - Back the fuck off if you aren’t going to be a fucking man about this.
I have been nothing but cordial towards you since our… whatever the fuck it was, and frankly, I’m done playing nice if you’re going to start with any of my friends.
You have been warned.
Straight up ridiculous.
What has my life become?
Oh. Yes. That’s right.
And I’m okay with that.
I just spent literally the last two hours looking at pictures of Lady Gaga.
What is my life? Faaaabulous, darling~
I need to take a nap or something.
This is getting straight up ridic.
I’m getting stupid looks…
I’ve been drunk since Thursday night.
I am drunk right now.
I should go to sleep.
What is wrong with me?
I want more whiskey…
And a big cheers to:
- Matt: "Why are you wearing those bracelets?"
- Dad: "What do they say?"
- Me: "I <3 Boobies, I <3 Boobies, and I <3 Boobies."
- Matt: "Those bracelets are lies!"
- Me: "And why is that?"
- Dad: *In a fem voice* "Because your gaaaaay~"
- Me: "Doesn't mean I can't appreciate them."
- Matt: "But they don't say 'I appreciate Boobies.'"
- Me: "Boy, I'm gay and I've felt WAAAY more boobs than you. So don't even start with me."
- Matt: "............."
- Dad: * Raucous laugh*
- EGO SLAM!
I need a gay best friend.
I can identify pretty much every one of these.
I think I should probably go outside, or something.